Playing At Growing Up


Is it just me or do you feel like you're just playing at being a grown up (or adult, as I should probably be saying)?

When I was young, I used to think that there were different personality traits that came with different ages. First you were a baby and grumbled and giggled at everything. Second you were a child, nervous, excited, easily amused. Third you were a teenager, grumpy, rebellious, climbed in and out of bedroom windows a lot (Blame Clarissa, Sister Sister, Buffy...). Fourth, you were an adult and everything was serious. You had kids, a job, a house, many, many bills. All silliness and creativity goes out of the window. 'No time for you!'. Fifth, you were an old person who loved bingo, gardening and cats.

So...I may have got some of that wrong...especially the climbing in and out of windows thing. Maybe that was just in America?? I don't know.

What came as the biggest shock to me growing up is that you don't really grow up in the sense that you change personality. You are still you. I am still me. I still laugh at stupid things (see above and below.)

I am not suddenly a person whose priorities are kids, a house and a job. Maybe it's just a sign of my generation. We get told we can be anyone we want and do anything we want when it doesn't usually work out like that.

Where I live people are very set in those ideas of a future, You stay put, you find a man, you do the whole wedding-house-mortgage-kid-another kid-dog/cat/fish/whatever and that's that. There are not really other options. That's not to say that it's impossible. It's just not the done thing.

I realise that I sound spoiled and I am, in the sense that I am English and living in this time where there are possibilities to do these things, but I want to take advantage of these opportunities.

I want to live in another country or region for a while, experience new places, food, cultures. Hear new stories and form new, more well rounded opinions. I think it would help me grow as a person. I want to create things, discover things, be someone I could feel proud to be. I want to laugh at stupid things and feel happy being who I am as opposed to who I am supposed to be.

This is not to say that anyone whose ideals are to stay where they are, get married etc are bad or ignorant in any way. I don't mean to insult anyone at all. That is not my intention. All I mean is that they are not my personal ideals.

Ugh. This growing up thing is hard, so much politics. Wake me when I'm a fully formed adult? Thanks

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  1. love this post :)
    I totally climbed out of windows! haha. Mum didnt even know until recently! :/
    I feel like everyone is forced to grow up too soon nowadays. Especially transitioning from a child to a teenager, then a teen to an adult. You don't really have a choice. Childhood is so short now!
    Even though in some ways I feel like I have turned into a grown up, had children, moved out..I still feel young. I don't always act mature or sensible. And that makes me happy. :D I still don't consider myself an adult :)
    Sarah xx